Lovely Jokes / Recent Jokes

Diary of a New Snow Shoveler
Decenber 8th 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow!
December 9th We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shovelled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.
December 12th The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob more...

A young man wanted to purchase a gift for his new sweetie for Valentine's Day.
As they had not been dating very long, it was a very difficult decision.
After careful consideration he decided a good gift would be a pair of gloves.
Accompanied by his sister, he went to the store and bought the gloves. His sister purchased a pair of panties at the same time.
The clerk carefully wrapped both items but in the process got them mixed up.
The sister was handed the gloves and the young man got the panties.
The young man mailed his Valentine's Day gift with the following note:
"This special Valentines Day gift was chosen because I noticed you are in the habit of not wearing any when we go out in the evenings.
If it had not been for my sister, I would have chosen the ones with buttons, but she prefers short ones that are much easier to remove.
"These are a lovely shade, the lady I bought them from showed me the pair she had been wearing for the past more...

Diary of a New Snow ShovelerDecenber 8th 6:00 PM It started to snow. The first snow of the season and the wife and I took our cocktails and sat for hours by the window watching the huge soft flakes drift down from heaven. It looked like a Grandma Moses print. So romantic we felt like newlyweds again. I love snow! December 9th We woke to a beautiful blanket of crystal white snow covering every inch of the landscape. What a fantastic sight! Can there be a more lovely place in the whole world? Moving here was the best idea I've ever had. Shovelled for the first time in years and felt like a boy again. I did both our driveway and the sidewalks. This afternoon the snowplow came along and covered up the sidewalks and closed in the driveway, so I got to shovel again. What a perfect life.December 12th The sun has melted all our lovely snow. Such a disappointment. My neighbor tells me not to worry, we'll definitely have a white Christmas. No snow on Christmas would be awful! Bob says we'll more...

Two years ago I married a lovely young virgin, and if that doesn't change soon, I'm gonna divorce her.

This guy walks into a bar. He is carrying three ducks and he places them
on the bar. He has a few drinks with his mate and then has to go to the
toilet. The other guy is left with the ducks and decides to make conversation.
"What's your name?" he asks the first duck. "Huey" came the answer.
"So how's your day been?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a great time. Been
in and out of puddles all day." The man says "oh. Good"
He then says to the second duck. "Hi. And what's your name?" "Dewey"
came the answer. "So how's your day been?" "Great. Lovely day. Had a
great time. Been in and out of puddles all day. If I had another day,
I'd do it all over again"
So then the guy turns to the third duck and says "So, you must be Louie".
the duck replies "No. My name is Puddles and I've had a bloody awful day"
Brian