Itch Jokes

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    Nick The Dragonslayer

    Hot 1 year ago

    Once upon a time, and far, far away lived a beautiful Queen with voluptuous breasts.

    Nick the Dragon slayer knew that the penalty for his desire would be death should he try to touch them.

    One day Nick revealed his secret desire to his colleague, Horatio the Physician, who was the King's chief doctor.

    Horatio the Physician, exclaimed that he could arrange for Nick the Dragon Slayer to satisfy his desire, but it would cost him 1, 000 gold coins to arrange it.

    Without pause, Nick the Dragon Slayer readily agreed to the scheme. The next day, Horatio the Physician made a batch of itching powder and poured a little bit into the Queen's brassiere while she bathed. Soon after she dressed, the itching commenced and grew intense.

    Upon being summoned to the Royal Chambers to address this incident, Horatio the Physician informed the King and Queen that only a special saliva, if applied for four hours, would cure this type of itch, and that more...

    Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your
    nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
    Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least
    accessible corner.
    Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly
    proportional to the stupidity of your act.
    Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy
    signal.
    Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you
    had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
    Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in
    will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
    Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone
    rings.
    Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know
    increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
    Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone more...

    Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair:
    After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
    Anthony's Law of the Workshop:
    Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
    Kovac's Conundrum:
    When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
    Cannon's Karmic Law:
    If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tyre, the next morning you will have a flat tyre.
    O'brien's Variation Law:
    If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than
    the one you are in now.
    BELL'S THEOREM
    When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
    RUBY'S PRINCIPLE OF CLOSE ENCOUNTERS
    The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
    WILLOUGHBY'S LAW
    When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
    ZADRA'S LAW OF BIOMECHANICS
    The severity of the itch is inversely more...

    The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

    The severity of the itch is proportional to inability to the reach it.
    Two wrongs are only the beginning.
    The sooner you fall behind, the more time you'll have to catch up.
    A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
    A fool and his money are soon partying.

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