Guidance Jokes

Clinton, distraught and contemplating his latest scandal was walking through Washington looking for any kind of guidance.

He walks up to the Washington Monument, looks up and says,' George, you were always wise, what should I do?'

Low and behold, a voice comes down from above and says,' ABOLISH THE I.R.S. AND START OVER.' Clinton, amazed that he is talking to the past President thinks he'll try it again.

He walks over to the Jefferson Memorial and utters the same request.' Thomas, you never had these kind of problems, what can I do to rally people behind me?'

Again a voice from above answers,' WELFARE, ITS NOT WORKING, ABOLISH IT, START OVER.'

After hearing this Clinton is so excited he is planning to go to all the historic sites for guidance. Next he goes to the Lincoln Memorial.' Abe, I need your help, people are losing confidence in me and they no longer trust me what should I do?'

After a substantial pause Abe more...

On the night of their wedding, the newlyweds finally retired to their hotel suite. After preparing herself for bed, the young bride came out of the bathroom and found her husband on his knees in front of the bed.
"Sweetheart, what are you doing?" she asked him.
"I'm praying for guidance," he answered.
With a sheepish grin, she replied, "I'll take care of that, darling. You pray for endurance."