Grumble Jokes

People grumble about Noah letting coyotes on the ark. The preacher says, "I'd like to ask Bubba to help take up the offering" and five guys stand up. The restrooms are outside. Opening day of deer season is recognized as an official church holiday. A member of the church requests to be buried in his 4-wheel-drive truck because "It ain't never been in a hole it couldn't get out of." When it rains, everyone is smiling. Prayers regarding the weather are standard practice. The choir group is known as the "OK Chorale". The pastor wears boots. Four generations of the same family sit together in worship. There is no such thing as a "secret" sin. Baptism is referred to as "branding". There is a special fund raiser for a new septic tank. Finding and returning lost sheep isn't just a parable. High notes on the organ can set the dogs to howling. People wonder, when Jesus fed 5000 whether the two fish were bass or catfish. People think more...

Real programmers don`t grumble about the disadvantages of Fortran when they don`t know any other language.

Real programmers don`t notch their desks for each completed service request.

Real programmers don`t number paragraph names consecutively.

Real programmers print only clean compiles.

Real programmers write readable code, which they then self-righteously refuse to explain.

Remember the golden rule: Those that have the gold make the rules.

Remember the tea kettle; though up to its neck in hot water, it continues to sing.

Repetition does not establish validity.

Roses are red violets are blue, I`m schizophrenic and so am I.

Rule of defactualization: information deteriorates upward through bureaucracies.

Real programmers don't grumble about the disadvantages of Fortran when they don't know any other language.