Feathers Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Barbara Walters was doing a documentary on the customs of American Indians. After a tour of a reservation, she asked a Brave, who had only one feather in his headdress, "Why the difference in the number of feathers in the headdresses?" His reply was, "Me have only one sqaw, me have only one feather." She asked another Brave, feeling the first fellow was only joking. This Brave had four feathers in his headdress. He replied, "Ugh; me have four feathers because me sleep with four squaws." Still not convinced the number of feathers indicated the number of sqaws involved, she decided to interview the Chief. Now the Chief had a headdress full of feathers, which, needless to say, amused Ms. Walters. She asked the Chief, "Why do you have so many feathers in your headdress?" The Chief proudly pounded his chest and said, "Me Chief. Me fuck-em all. Big, small, fat, tall. Me fuck-em all." Horrified, Ms. Walters stated, "You ought to be more...

    Before the Battle of Agincourt in 1415, the French, anticipating victory over the English, proposed to cut off the middle finger of all captured English soldiers. Without the middle finger, it would be impossible to draw the renowned English longbow and therefore be incapable of fighting in the future.
    This famous weapon was made of the native English Yew tree and the act of drawing the longbow was known as "plucking the yew." Much to the bewilderment of the French, the English won a major upset and began mocking the French by waving their middle fingers at the defeated French, saying, "See, we can still pluck yew! PLUCK YEW!"
    Over the years, some 'folk etymologies' have grown up around this symbolic gesture. Since 'pluck yew' is rather difficult to say (like "pleasant mother, pheasant plucker", which is who you had to go to for the feathers used on the arrows for the longbow), the difficult consonant cluster at the beginning has gradually changed more...

    The Gossip

    Hot 4 years ago

    A woman repeated a bit of gossip about a neighbor. Within a few days the whole community knew the story.
    The person it concerned was deeply hurt and offended.
    Later the woman responsible for spreading the rumor learned that it was completely untrue.
    She was very sorry and went to a wise old sage to find out what she could do to repair the damage.
    "Go to the marketplace," he said, "and purchase a chicken, and have it killed. Then on your way home, pluck its feathers and drop them one by one along the road."
    Although surprised by this advice, the woman did what she was told.
    The next day the wise man said, "Now go and collect all those feathers you dropped yesterday and bring them back to me."
    The woman followed the same road, but to her dismay, the wind had blown the feathers all away. After searching for hours, she returned with only three in her hand.
    "You see," said the old sage, "it's easy to drop more...

    Indian Promiscuity

    Hot 4 years ago

    A woman was visiting an Indian reservation one day when an Indian came up to her. He had a feather in his hair. "How did you get that feather?" the woman asked."I screw one squaw," the Indian said. Then, another Indian came up to her. He had two feathers in his hair. "How did you get those feathers?" she asked. "I screw two squaw," he said. Then, an Indian with a headdress of feathers came up to her."My! How did you get all those feathers?" she asked. "I screw two squaw, four squirrel, five rabbit, eight bear." he answered. "Oh dear!" said the woman. The Indian replied, "No deer, deer jump too high, balls get stuck in bush."

    A guy has a horny parrot. It's terrible. Every time he reaches into the cage, the bird humps his arm. He invites his mother to tea, and the bird keeps saying foul things. Finally he takes the parrot to a vet.
    The vet examines the bird extensively, says, "Well, you have a horny male parrot. I have a sweet young female bird, and for fifteen dollars your bird can go in the cage with mine."
    The guy's parrot is listening and says, "Come on! Come on! What are you waiting for?"
    Finally, the guy says "All right" and hands over the fifteen dollars.
    The vet takes the parrot, puts him in the cage with the female bird, closes the curtain.
    Suddenly, "Kwah! Kwah! Kwah!" The cage starts shaking and feathers come flying out.
    The vet says, "Holy gee," and runs across the room and opens the curtain.
    The male bird has the female bird down on the bottom of the cage with one claw. With the other claw he's pulling out all her more...

  • Recent Activity