Dove Jokes

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    Magical Bridge

    Hot 2 years ago

    There once was a magical bridge. A wise man told a blonde, brunette, and a red head that if they ran across it and wished to be any thing it would happen. So the next day all three of them went to the bridge. The red head went first. "I wish I was a dove!" and poof she turned into a dove. Next went the brunette. "I wish I was a dolphin!" and poof she turned into a dolphin. Next came the blonde. She ran as fast as she could and said "I wish I was....she noticed her shoelace was untied and said "CRAP!" and she turned into crap.

    A soldier, a marine, and an airman got into a fight about which service is best. The fight was so heated, that they killed each other.Soon, they found themselves in Heaven. They see St. Peter walk by and ask, “Which
    Branch of Service is the best?”St. Peter replied, “I can't answer that. But, I will ask God what He thinks the next time I see Him.”Some time later, the three see St. Peter again and ask him if he was able to find the
    answer.Suddenly, a dove landed on St. Peter's shoulder. The dove was carrying a note in
    its beak. St. Peter opened the note and read it out loud to the three fellows:
    “Gentlemen: All the Branches of the Service are ‘Honorable and Noble’. Each one
    of you has served your country well. Be proud of that.(signed)
    GOD, USN (Ret.)”

    The Roadrunner was feeling very amorous one day, and since there were no other female roadrunners around, he decided to look around.
    He happened to spot a lovely dove. Bzzzzzz... down he goes and feathers are flying, lots of dust in the air and the dazed dove is lying there with a smile and says, "I'm a dove and I've been loved!"
    The Roadrunner is still not satisfied. He spots a Lark flying around and zooms down on her. Again, feathers are flying around and dust is in the air and the dazed Lark is lying there and said, "I'm a Lark and I've been sparked"
    The Roadrunner is still not satisfied and spots a Duck. He zooms down and again feathers are flying and a lot of squawkings and dust flying in the air, and the roadrunner takes off.
    The Duck is lying there really pissed off, and says "I'm a Drake and there's been a mistake!"

    The Roadrunner was feeling very amorous one day, and since there were no other female roadrunners around, he decided to look around.He happened to spot a lovely dove. Bzzzzzz... down he goes and feathers are flying, lots of dust in the air and the dazed dove is lying there with a smile and says, "I'm a dove and I've been loved!"The Roadrunner is still not satisfied. He spots a Lark flying around and zooms down on her. Again, feathers are flying around and dust is in the air and the dazed Lark is lying there and said, "I'm a Lark and I've been sparked"The Roadrunner is still not satisfied and spots a Duck. He zooms down and again feathers are flying and a lot of squawkings and dust flying in the air, and the roadrunner takes off.The Duck is lying there really pissed off, and says "I'm a Drake and there's been a mistake!"

    Twenty-one reasons why English is hard to learn.
    1. The bandage was wound around the wound.
    2. The farm was used to produce produce.
    3. The dump was so full it had to refuse more refuse.
    4. We must polish the Polish furniture.
    5. He could lead if he would get the lead out.
    6. The soldier decided to desert his dessert in the desert.
    7. Since there was no time like the present, he thought it was time to present the present.
    8. A bass was painted on the head of the bass drum.
    9. When shot at, the dove dove into the bushes.
    10. I did not object to the object.
    11. The insurance was invalid for the invalid.
    12. There was a row among the oarsmen on how to row.
    13. They were too close to the door to close it.
    14. The buck does funny things when does are present.
    15. A seamstress and a sewer fell down into a sewer line.
    16. To help with planting, the farmer taught his sow to sow.
    17. The wind was too strong to wind the more...

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