Dust Jokes

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    Gems of Wisdom

    Hot 2 years ago

    The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students.
    As one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades!"
    "H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
    "To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube."
    "When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide."
    "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
    "There is no Nitrogen in Ireland because it is not found in a free state."
    "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."
    "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
    "Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."
    The moon is a planet just like the earth, more...

    Gems of Wisdom

    Hot 1 year ago

    The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students.As one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades!""H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.""To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.""When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.""Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.""There is no Nitrogen in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.""Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.""Blood flows down one leg and up the other.""Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.""Dew is formed on more...

    A lady was a huge Paul MCCartney fan and wanted a tattoo of him on the inside of her thigh. She went to the parlour and told the guy what she wanted.
    He says: "OK, take your skirt and underwear off and sit in the chair with your legs apart".
    She did that and he started on the tattoo. Pretty soon he's done, blows off the dust and admires his work.
    "Who the heck's that?" she says. "It's Paul McCartney", he replies.
    "Doesn't look like him at all" says she. "Now get it right or I'll report you".
    So the tattooist starts on the other thigh. Really trying hard to do a better job. Finally he's done, blows off the dust and feels pretty good.
    The woman is pissed off "No way that's Paul Mccartney" she says. "It bloody well is" says the man. "Listen I'll get a second opinion"
    He goes out of his store and grabs the first person he sees. The guy is a drunk who's been stumbling along the more...

    I believe that dust protects furniture.

    1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.

    2. If disturbed, dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos. Rename the area under the couch "The Galapagos Islands," and claim an ecological exemption.

    3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5, and leave it alone.

    4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"

    5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say more...

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