Dust Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Gems of Wisdom

    Hot 3 years ago

    The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students.
    As one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades!"
    "H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water."
    "To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube."
    "When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide."
    "Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water."
    "There is no Nitrogen in Ireland because it is not found in a free state."
    "Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars."
    "Blood flows down one leg and up the other."
    "Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."
    The moon is a planet just like the earth, more...

    Gems of Wisdom

    Hot 2 years ago

    The following gems of wisdom were gleaned from test papers and essays from elementary, junior high, high school, and college students.As one teacher noted, "It is truly astonishing what weird stuff our young scholars can create under the pressures of time and grades!""H2O is hot water, and CO2 is cold water.""To collect fumes of sulphur, hold a deacon over a flame in a test tube.""When you smell an odorless gas, it is probably carbon monoxide.""Water is composed of two gins, Oxygin and Hydrogin. Oxygin is pure gin. Hydrogin is gin and water.""There is no Nitrogen in Ireland because it is not found in a free state.""Three kinds of blood vessels are arteries, vanes and caterpillars.""Blood flows down one leg and up the other.""Respiration is composed of two acts, first inspiration, and then expectoration."The moon is a planet just like the earth, only it is even deader.""Dew is formed on more...

    The Road Runner

    Hot 2 months ago

    The Roadrunner was feeling very amorous one day, and since there were no other female roadrunners around, he decided to look around.
    He happened to spot a lovely dove. Bzzzzzz... down he goes and feathers are flying, lots of dust in the air and the dazed dove is lying there with a smile and says, "I'm a dove and I've been loved!"
    The Roadrunner is still not satisfied. He spots a Lark flying around and zooms down on her. Again, feathers are flying around and dust is in the air and the dazed Lark is lying there and said, "I'm a Lark and I've been sparked"
    The Roadrunner is still not satisfied and spots a Duck. He zooms down and again feathers are flying and a lot of squawkings and dust flying in the air, and the roadrunner takes off.
    The Duck is lying there really pissed off, and says "I'm a Drake and there's been a mistake!"

    I believe that dust protects furniture.

    1. Vacuuming too often weakens the carpet fibers. Say this with a serious face, and shudder delicately whenever anyone mentions Carpet Fresh.

    2. If disturbed, dust bunnies cannot evolve into dust rhinos. Rename the area under the couch "The Galapagos Islands," and claim an ecological exemption.

    3. Layers of dirty film on windows and screens provide a helpful filter against harmful and aging rays from the sun. Call it an SPF factor of 5, and leave it alone.

    4. Cobwebs artfully draped over lampshades reduce the glare from the bulb, thereby creating a romantic atmosphere. If your husband points out that the light fixtures need dusting, simply look affronted and exclaim, "What? And spoil the mood?"

    5. In a pinch, you can always claim that the haphazard tower of unread magazines and newspapers next to your chair provides the valuable Feng Shui aspect of a tiger, thereby reducing your vulnerability. Roll your eyes when you say more...

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