Booked Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    (as submitted to www.dilbert.com)
    I had to get up at 4:00 a.m. to pack, then take two 70-pound boxes along to the airport. I checked them in, then sat on the plane for an hour before takeoff. Just after we were in the air, I realized that I left my car in front of the airport doors (loading zone).
    I work for a TV news network. A co-worker left keys in our van at the airport. The van and $200,000 worth of equipment mysteriously vanished.
    Flew to Hartford, arrived midnight. Rental car not reserved. Took a cab to hotel, room not reserved. Went to client next day. They were expecting someone else. My Pointy-Haired Boss had sent me by mistake. Flew home.
    Trip to Microsoft labs in Redmond WA. Travel booked to Redmond Oregon, middle of nowhere. No car, no hotel, no MS lab!
    When arriving at our hotel in Miami, PHB informs me that he has booked only one room for both of us. He says it's more cost effective that way.
    The maid set off the fire sprinkler in my hotel more...

    A husband booked a round of golf for his wife and himself on a trip … … to famous old St. Andrews golf links.
    On the third tee, the husband hesitated in teeing off and turned slowly to his wife and said contritely, “Darling, I have to confess something. Twenty years ago I had a brief affair. It meant nothing. I hope you can forgive me. ”
    His wife was hurt but said, “Dearest, those days are long gone. What we have now is far more valuable. I forgive you. ” They embraced and kissed.
    On the seventeenth tee, the husband was starting his back swing when the wife blurted out, “I’m sorry darling, I’ve been so conscience-stricken since you told me, but since we’re being honest with each other, I have something to tell you also. Fifty-two years ago I had a sex change operation, I was a man before I met you. I hope you can forgive me.
    The husband, froze at the top of his back swing, then threw a fit! He slammed the driver into the ground, kicked the ball more...

    A Wisconsin woman has been arrested and booked for failing to pay her library fines. Sadly, this is not the first time she has run afoul of the law. She had a previous criminal record for jaywalking and removing a matress tag.

    "I'm sorry," said the dentist to the caller. "can't take you this afternoon, all booked up. I have eighteen cavities to fill."
    And he picked up his golf bag and went out.
    *** An easily understood, workable falsehood is more useful than a complex, incomprehesable truth. ***

    (as submitted to www.dilbert.com)
    I had to get up at 4:00 a.m. to pack, then take two 70-pound boxes along to the airport. I checked them in, then sat on the plane for an hour before takeoff. Just after we were in the air, I realized that I left my car in front of the airport doors (loading zone).
    I work for a TV news network. A co-worker left keys in our van at the airport. The van and $200,000 worth of equipment mysteriously vanished.
    Flew to Hartford, arrived midnight. Rental car not reserved. Took a cab to hotel, room not reserved. Went to client next day. They were expecting someone else. My Pointy-Haired Boss had sent me by mistake. Flew home.
    Trip to Microsoft labs in Redmond WA. Travel booked to Redmond Oregon, middle of nowhere. No car, no hotel, no MS lab!
    When arriving at our hotel in Miami, PHB informs me that he has booked only one room for both of us. He says it's more cost effective that way.
    The maid set off the fire sprinkler in my hotel more...

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