Bodyguard Jokes

A bodyguard for Angelrad was caught on tape roughing up a British photographer in India. The photog said the bodyguard had his fingers on his windpipe and would kill him if he took their photo.
A spokesman for the übercouple was quick to issue a statement.
"As you all know, Brad and Angelina care very, very deeply about all the children of the world. But once those children grow up, they're considered fair game."

A simple match thrown into the wastebasket grew into a huge fire at Malacanang Palace. Meanwhile, Erap was surfing the smut net and could hardly be bothered by it. His bodyguard breaks down the door and pulls him out of his office and Erap says "What's going on?" Bodyguard replies, "SIR, FIRE! FIRE! LET'S GO, THE FIRE EXIT IS TO YOUR RIGHT SIR". Erap turns left instead and the guard, realizing Erap is not behind him, turns around and grabs him by the arm, "SIR, WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING? THE FIRE EXIT IS THE OTHER WAY!" Erap says, "Ay, hindi ba lumalabas and apoy sa fire exit?" ("Isn't that where the fire exits the building