Atlantic Jokes / Recent Jokes

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew Id like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35, 000 feet midway across the Atlantic."If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire."If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off."If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you."Thats me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!"

No one can tell me the Internet's not educational. So far, I've learned that Spanish is not the official language of Brazil and now, thanks to 57 kind souls, I know there are only 36 numbers on a roulette wheel. I thought I'd better brush-up on gambling:
The closest mecca of chance to me is Atlantic City. People used to go there to get tanned - now they go to get faded.
A compulsive gambler I know took a 9 to 5 job in Atlantic City. He didn't like the work so much, but the odds were pretty good.
A manhole cover blew off and rose into the air. As it was still airborne, a fellow yells, "Two to one it's heads".
If you've never been to Atlantic City, you can gamble just about anywhere in the city. One young lady went to a laundromat and lost all her clothes.
But gambling is not confined to a particular city - it's all over. I used to work with a fellow who only made mental bets. He ended up losing his mind.
At Boulder Dam, near Las Vegas, they recently more...

"This is your captain speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35, 000 feet midway across the Atlantic.
"If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire.
"If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off.
"If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you.
"That's me, the copilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recording."

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking. On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London. We are currently flying at a height of 35,000 feet midway across the Atlantic."If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire."If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off."If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you."That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses. This is a recorded message. Have a good flight!"

"This is Captain Sinclair speaking.
On behalf of my crew I'd like to welcome you aboard British Airways flight 602 from New York to London.
We are currently flying at a height of 35, 000 feet midway across the Atlantic."If you look out of the windows on the starboard side of the aircraft, you will observe that both the starboard engines are on fire."If you look out of the windows on the port side, you will observe that the port wing has fallen off."If you look down towards the Atlantic ocean, you will see a little yellow life raft with three people in it waving at you."That's me your captain, the co-pilot, and one of the air stewardesses.
This is a recorded message.
Have a good flight!"

Once there was a red head, brunet, and a blonde. They decided to swim the Atlantic Ocean using the breaststroke. They started their voyage.
2 days later the brunet and redhead show up.
Then a whole 3 weeks later the blonde shows up. They asked her why she took so long.
She said "I think they cheated. I think they used their arms."

Schick is walking down the boardwalk in Atlantic City, runs into a hooker, and he says, "How much?"She says, "Twenty bucks."He says, "All right."They climb down under the boardwalk, and he bangs her. The next night, heruns into the same hooker, they go under the boardwalk, only this time while he's banging her, she blasts two incredible farts. When they get done, he hands her twenty-FIVE dollars.She says, "What the extra five?"He says, "That's for blowing the sand off my balls."