"scales" joke

Hot 9 months agoby justincider

My wife asked me for something that does nought to sixty in 5 seconds for her birthday.

I bought her a set of bathroom scales.

Why is santa claus always so happy?
He knows where all of the bad girls live!

Once Chuck Norris had a boner.
Their were no survivors

Chuck Norris doesn't read books. He stares them down until he gets the information he wants.

Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!

Sherlock Holmes and Dr Watson were going camping. They pitched their tent under the stars and went to sleep. Sometime in the middle of the night Holmes woke Watson up and said: “Watson, look up at the stars, and tell me what you see.”

Watson replied: “I see more...

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