"You Might Be A Lutheran If... #5" joke

Hot 1 year ago

...someone asks you after church if there's any "decaf coffee" and you laugh because you KNOW that if it doesn't have caffeine, it can't be coffee!. ..you think anyone who says "casserole" instead of "hotdish" is trying to be uppity (or maybe even Episcopalian!). ..you think the term "Jell-O salad" is redundant.. ..you freeze the leftover coffee from fellowship hour for next week.. ..when you were little you actually thought the Reverend's first name was "Pastor.". ..you think you're paying your pastor too much if he gets a new car for the first time in eight years.. ..you hear something really funny and smile as loud as you can.. ..it takes 10 minutes to say good-bye.

When Ole quit farming, he discovered that he was the only Lutheran in his new little town of Catholics. That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbequing beef every Friday. Since they couldn't eat meat on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the best of them. more...

The pastor at Sven and Ole`s church was giving a rousing heaven or hell sermon one Sunday. At the end, minister commands "Whoever wants to go to heaven, stand up." Everyone except Sven and Ole stand. The pastor walks over to them, looks them directly in the eye and more...

...you think a meeting isn't legitimate unless it's at least three hours long.. ..peas in your tuna noodle hotdish add too much color.. ..you make change in the offering plate for a ten.. ..your dad's name is Luther N., your brother is Luther Hahn and you are Lew Theran.. ..you more...

...you talk to someone else and look at their shoes first.. ..you have more than three friends whose first names have the letter "j" as the second letter.. ..the only open pew is up front, so you volunteer to shovel the sidewalk.. ..Ole and Lena are really the names of more...

... you pronounce the word Lutheran "Lutern.". ..requests you hear are preceeded or followed by the phrase, "If it's not too much trouble then...". ..you know all the words to the first verse of "Silent Night" in German but can't speak a word of more...

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