"You Might Be A Lutheran If... #2" joke

Hot 3 years ago

...a midlife crisis means switching from the old hymnbook to the new one.. ..you forget to put water in the baptismal font but never forget to put water in the coffee pot.. ..the pastor skips the last hymn to make sure church lasts exactly 60 minutes.. ..you make spaghetti at your house with the little macaroni noodles because they're not so messy then.. ..you don't make eye contact when passing someone in the hall because you think it's impolite.. ..your choir believes volume is a fair substitute for tonality.. ..you don't know what was sooo funny about dat movie "Fargo" then.. ..in response to someone jumping up and shouting "Praise the Lord!", you politely remind him or her that we don't do that around here.

When Ole quit farming, he discovered that he was the only Lutheran in his new little town of Catholics. That was okay, but the neighbors had a problem with his barbequing beef every Friday. Since they couldn't eat meat on Friday, the tempting aroma was getting the best of them. more...

...you think a meeting isn't legitimate unless it's at least three hours long.. ..peas in your tuna noodle hotdish add too much color.. ..you make change in the offering plate for a ten.. ..your dad's name is Luther N., your brother is Luther Hahn and you are Lew Theran.. ..you more...

...you talk to someone else and look at their shoes first.. ..you have more than three friends whose first names have the letter "j" as the second letter.. ..the only open pew is up front, so you volunteer to shovel the sidewalk.. ..Ole and Lena are really the names of more...

...someone asks you after church if there's any "decaf coffee" and you laugh because you KNOW that if it doesn't have caffeine, it can't be coffee!. ..you think anyone who says "casserole" instead of "hotdish" is trying to be uppity (or maybe even more...

... you pronounce the word Lutheran "Lutern.". ..requests you hear are preceeded or followed by the phrase, "If it's not too much trouble then...". ..you know all the words to the first verse of "Silent Night" in German but can't speak a word of more...

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