"Voodoo Dick" joke
A man was about to die, so he went to a black magic store to get a voodoo dick. The man at the store said, "It works. Anything you tell it to go to, it goes. So your wife can just say, 'Voodoo dick, my pussy.'"
The man buys it and gives it to his wife. She says, "Voodoo dick, my pussy." It goes in and starts screwing. But she doesn't know how to get it out. So she speeds to the hospital, but a cop catches her. He says, "What's the hurry?" She says, "There's a voodoo dick stuck in my pussy." The cop says, "Voodoo dick, my ass!"
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Your mamas so old, that when i told her to act her age she dropped dead!!!
A very absent-minded professor entered a crowded bus, with no available seats. Suddenly a little girl raised from her seat and offered it to the professor. He was astonished and said to her:
- You are a very good girl, what's your name?
- My name is Eve, daddy...
Once a young Brahmin went to the house of a very respectable Old Brahmin to
ask for his young daughters hand. "My dear Sir", he goes "I have heard that
your daughter has all the good qualities of a Bahu"?
The old brahmin answered "Haan! more...
Dear Mom and Dad,
Our scoutmaster told us all to write to our parents in case you saw the flood on TV and worried. We are OK. Only one of our tents and two of our sleeping bags got washed away. Luckily none us got drowned because we were all up on the mountain looking for more...