"Veyegra Bird" joke
A man finally gets his prescription for Veyegra. Anxious to try it out, he takes one as soon as he gets home, and waits for his wife to come home from work, but, in his excitement he forgets and leaves the package open on the table and his cockatiel eats all of them.
Seeing the results and panicking the man grabs the bird and stuffs him into the freezer to cool off.
Unfortunately, his Veyegra kicks in just as his wife comes home and it is hours later before he remembers the cockatiel. He runs and looks in the freezer expecting the worst, only to find the bird breathing heavily, drained with sweat and totally exhausted.
"What happened?" the man asks, "You were in there for hours and yet you're not only alive but you're sweating like crazy?"
The cockatiel pants: "Man, have you ever tried to pry apart the legs on a frozen chicken?"
My girlfriend told me to give her 12 inches and make ithurt!... So I Fucked her 3 times and then hit her with a baseball bat.
Little Leroy was always getting into trouble with his mother. One day his mother was in the kitchen doing the dishes and she looks out and sees that little Leroy has tied up the cat. She says to herself "what is that little shit doing to that damn cat this more...