"Under the street light" joke
Late at night, a drunk was on his knees beneath a street-light, evidently looking for something.
A passer-by, being a good Samaritan, offered to help. “What is it you have lost? ” he asked.
”My watch, ” replied the drunk. “It fell off when I tripped over the pavement.”
The passer-by joined in the search but after a quarter of an hour, there was still no sign of the watch.
“Where exactly did you trip? ” asked the passer-by.
“About half a block up the street, ” replied the drunk.
“Then why are you looking for your watch here if you lost it half a block up the street? ”
The drunk said: “Because the light’s a lot better here. ”
The Utah Jazz collected their 12th straight victory. In celebration, Utah residents might even stay up til midnight.
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.