"Under the street light" joke
Late at night, a drunk was on his knees beneath a street-light, evidently looking for something.
A passer-by, being a good Samaritan, offered to help. “What is it you have lost? ” he asked.
”My watch, ” replied the drunk. “It fell off when I tripped over the pavement.”
The passer-by joined in the search but after a quarter of an hour, there was still no sign of the watch.
“Where exactly did you trip? ” asked the passer-by.
“About half a block up the street, ” replied the drunk.
“Then why are you looking for your watch here if you lost it half a block up the street? ”
The drunk said: “Because the light’s a lot better here. ”
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet
These four guys were walking down the street, a Saudi, a Russian, a North Korean, and a New Yorker.
A reporter comes running up and says, "Excuse me, what is your opinion about the meat shortage?"
The Saudi says, "Excuse me, what's a more...
Don't criticize your wife...if she were perfect, she would have married much better than you.
Q: How many radio astronomers does it take to change a light bulb.
A: None. They are not interested in that short wave stuff.