"Real news headlines 09" joke

These are actual newspaper headlines gathered from papers across the country. Bible church's focus is the Bible: Saint Augustine Record, Florida, December 3, 1994 Clinton pledges restraint in use of nuclear weapons: Cedar Rapids Gazette, April 6 Discoveries: Older blacks have edge in longevity: The Chicago Tribune, March 5 Court Rules Boxer Shorts Are Indeed Underwear: Journal of Commerce, April 20 Biting nails can be sign of tenseness in a person: The Daily Gazette of Schenectady, New York, May 2 Lack of brains hinders research: The Columbus Dispatch, April 16 How we feel about ourselves is the core of self-esteem, says author Louise Hart: Boulder, Colorado, Sunday Camera, February 5 Fish lurk in streams: Rochester, New York, Democrat + Chronicle, January 29

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