"Pilot says" joke
Pilot says: "Folks, we have reached our cruising altitude now, so I am going to switch the seat belt sign off. Feel free to move about as you wish, but please stay inside the plane till we land... its a bit cold outside, and if you walk on the wings it affects the flight pattern."
The Utah Jazz collected their 12th straight victory. In celebration, Utah residents might even stay up til midnight.
A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar which reads:
Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00
Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive more...
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.