"Murphy's Friends Laws" joke

Okay, you've heard of Murphy's famous Law: Everything that can go wrong will go wrong. There are many other related Laws, as well. Here are some:

After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch. --Lorenz's Law of Mechanical Repair

Identical parts aren't. --Beach's Law

Any tool, when dropped, will roll into the least accessible corner. --Anthony's Law of the Workshop

Nothing is as inevitable as a mistake whose time has come. --Tussman's Law

If it jams, force it. If it breaks, it needed replacing anyway. --Lowery's Law

The solution to a problem changes the problem. --Peer's Law

There is no mechanical problem so difficult that it cannot be solved by brute strength and ignorance. --William's Law

Handy Guide to Modern Science: 1. If it's green or it wiggles, it's Biology. 2. If it stinks, it's Chemistry. 3. If it doesn't work, it's Physics.

Machines should work. People should think. --IBM's Pollyanna Principle:

The most ineffective workers will be systematically moved to the place where they can do the least damage - management. --The Dilbert Principle

The first rule of intelligent tinkering is to save all the parts. --Ehrlich's Law

It is a mistake to allow any mechanical object to realize that you are in a hurry. --Ralph's Observation

If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire. --Cannon's Comment

Thinly sliced cabbage. --Cole's Law