"Lightning" joke

My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.

You mamma is soo fat she sat on a rainbow and skittles popped out!

Number of physicians in the US = 700,000
Accidental deaths caused by physicians/year =120,000.
Accidental deaths/physician = 0.171
Number of gun owners in US = 80,000,000
Number of accidental gun deaths/year = 1500
Accidental deaths/gun owner more...

A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...

Chuck Norris sent Jesus a birthday card on December 25th and it wasn’t Jesus’ birthday. Jesus was to scared to correct Chuck Norris and to this day December 25th is known as Jesus’ birthday.

There are three guys in a helicopter and they each get to choose what they want to throw out.
The first guys chooses an apple. So he takes an apple and throws it out.
The second guy chooses a brick. So he takes a brick and throws it out.
The third guy chooses a more...

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