My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
Chuck Norris frequently donates blood to the Red Cross. Just never his own.
Chuck Norris can gargle peanut butter.
Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. Then when you do criticize that person, you'll be a mile away and have his shoes.
A woman's breasts are like a child's toys. They are meant for the child - but the husband is the one that usually ends up playing with them.