My mind works like lightning. One brilliant flash and it is gone.
I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
Save the trees, wipe your butt with an owl.
Q: What is the similarity between a rubix cube and a dick?
A: The more you play with them, the harder they get!
A lawyer and a blonde are sitting next to each other on a long flight from LA to NY. The lawyer leans over to her and asks if she would like to play a fun game. The blonde just wants to take a nap, so she politely declines and rolls over to the window to catch a few more...
Marriage changes passion. Suddenly you're in bed with a relative.