"Lawyer quickies 4" joke

Q: How do you know when your divorce is getting ugly?
A: When your lawyer doesn't seem like a bloodsucking leech anymore.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a leech?
A: A leech will let go and drop off when its victim dies.
Q: What is the difference between a lawyer and a dalmation?
A: A dalmation knows when to stop chasing the ambulance.
Q: What do slime molds have more of than lawyers?
A: Respect.
Q: What does molds, ooze, and lawyers have in common?
A: They're all slime.
Q: Why did the lawyer cross the road?
A: To get to the car accident on the other side.
Q: What are some of the requirements in becoming a lawyer?
A: You must be able to get muggers, rapists, and pope abusers off the hook, and must have at least one relative who works at IBM.
Q: What kind of lure must you use if you want to attract lawyers so as to shoot them?
A: You may use any as long as it yells every once in a while "I'm gonna sue!" or "Help, I've fallen and I can't get up!"
Q: What would happen if you lock a cannibal in a room full of lawyers? A: He would starve to death.
Q: Why don't hyenas eat lawyers?
A: Even hyenas have some dignity.