"Hugh Downs` Four Rules" joke

Hugh Downs` Four Rules for Investigating the Universe: Rule 1 - When confronted with an apparent infinite or infinitely repeating pattern, expect some variant that keeps it from being infinite. Rule 2 - When all investigation supports Rule 1, look for a situation which violates it. Rule 3 - Be prepared for an infinite oscillation between Rules 1 and 2. Rule 4 - Apply Rule 1.

Drew`s Law of Highway Biology: The first bug to hit a clean windshield lands directly in front of your eyes.

Ducharme`s Axiom: If you view your problem closely enough you will recognize yourself as part of the problem.

Ducharme`s Precept: Opportunity always knocks at the least opportune moment.

Emersons` Law of Contrariness: Our chief want in life is somebody who shall make us do what we can. Having found them, we shall then hate them for it.

Estridge`s Law: No matter how large and standardized the marketplace is, IBM can redefine it.

Fett`s Law: Never replicate a successful experiment.