"Heaven Help Us" joke
Three men die and go to heaven.
When they get to the pearly gates, St. Peter asks them each one question: "How many times have you cheated on your wife?"
The first one answers "Never!"
St. Peter checks the books, discovers the man is correct and gives him a Rolls-Royce to drive during his stay in heaven.
The second man answers "Oh, about 25-30 times."
He is given a Ford Pinto and sent on his way.
The third man answers "Maybe 400-500 times" and is assigned a bicycle.
A few months later, the three meet up and the Pinto driver, and the bicycle rider notice the Rolls-Royce man has a long drawn-out sad look on his face.
Puzzled, the other two query him as to "why the sad face?".Mr. Rolls just looked at them and said, "I just saw my wife, she was on a skateboard!"
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Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!