"Day Off Request" joke

So, you've requested a day off. Let's just take a moment to look at what you're asking for.
There are 365 days each year available for work
There are 52 weeks each year, of which you already have two days off per week
Leaving 261 days available for work.
Since you spend 16 hours per day away from work
That accounts for 170 days
Leaving 91 days available for work.
You spend 30 minutes per day on breaks
Which accounts for 23 days per year
Leaving 68 days available for work.
You spend 1 hour each day for lunch
That accounts for an additional 46 days per year
Leaving 22 days available for work.
Normally you spend 2 days per year on sick leave
Leaving 20 days available for work.
Taking into account the 9 holidays per year
This leaves 11 days available for work.
You are given 10 days for vacation each year
Leaving 1 day available for work and there's no way in hell you are going to take that day off!