"Consulting Revisited" joke

Good advice is something a man gives when he is too old to set a bad example.

Always listen to experts. They'll tell what can't be done and why. Then do it.

It takes two things to be a consultant - grey hair and hemorrhoids. The grey hair makes you look distinguished and the hemorrhoids make you look concerned.

In case of doubt, make it sound convincing.

An expert is one who knows more and more about less and less, until he knows absolutely everything about nothing.

To spot the expert, pick the one who predicts the job will take the longest and cost the most.

After all is said and done, a hell of a lot more is said than done.

If you consult enough experts, you can confirm any opinion.

Hiring consultants to conduct studies can be an excellent means of turning problems into gold, your problems into their gold.