"Blondes and Food" joke
A blonde ordered a pizza and the clerk asked if he should cut it in six or twelve pieces.
"Six, please. I could never eat twelve pieces."
What did the blonde say when he opened the box of Cheerios?
"Oh, look! Doughnut seeds!"
Why don't blondes eat pickles?
Because they can't get their head in the jar.
Why do blondes have little holes all over their faces?
From eating with forks.
How did the blonde burn his nose?
Bobbing for french fries.
Did you hear about the blonde that ate rocky mountain oysters?
She was dragged 200 yards.
What did the blonde do when her doctor told her she had sugar in her urine?
She peed on her corn flakes.
Why do blondes have see-through lunch box lids?
So they know if it is morning or afternoon.
Why don't blondes like buttered toast?
They can't figure out which side the butter goes on.
An old married couple were driving down the road one day when suddenly the woman punched her husband right in the face. He shouted, "what the hell was that for?". She replied, "That was for 50 years of the worst sex I ever had!" As they continued down the more...
Person 1: Knock, Knock
Person 2: Who's there?
Person 1: Cows go.
Person 2: Cows go who?
Person 1: No, silly! Cows go moo!
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Q:what did god say when the first black person came to heaven?
A:oops I must of burnt one!!