"Bear Hunter" joke
There was this guy that whent bear huntning and seen a large bear by a clearing, he aimed and fired and the bear dropped. that hunter ran up to look for the bear and it wasnt there, about that time the bear came up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder and sead "you have two choices, i can kill you and eat you or screw you a while", the hunter didn't want to die so he let the bear have his way with him and left.
he was mad as hell whent back the next day with a 7 mm mag and sure enough there was the bear in the same place. he took aim and fired and the bear dropped, he ran up to get the bear and there was no bear. the bear came up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder and sead, "same deal as yesterday". so the hunter let the bear have his way with him again and he left madder than before. he when't home and got a 300 weatheby Mag and whent back to the same lpace and sure enough there was the bear again. he took realy carefull aim and fired and the bear dropped and the hunter ran up again to get the bear and the bear wasn't there, the bear came up behind him and tapped him on the shoulder and sead "you ain't realy into this for the hunting are you?".
A man arrives at the gates of heaven. St. Peter asks, "Religion?" The man says, "Methodist." St. Peter looks down his list, and says, "Go to room 24, but be very quiet as you pass room 8."
Another man arrives at the gates of heaven. more...
A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.
The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...
Don't knock on Death's door.
Instead, ring the bell and run. Death hates that...
Your moma is like a brick dirty on both sides and laid by mexicans.
your mamma is so fat when she steps on the scales it says one at a time please.