"As Phil sews..." joke

Back in the 1970s on the classic TV game show “Match Game,” host Gene Rayburn would read a question that began “Dumb Dora is so dumb...” – and the studio audience would immediately chime in: “How dumb is she?”

Well, I work for a woman named D. And D is so dumb...okay, it’s your cue to chime in: “How dumb is she?”

This is how dumb. For the newsletter where I toil, I had to write about a none-too-special PR campaign involving a well-known apparel distributor that worked with a constellation of sweatshops spread across the so-called developing world. (Side note: just when is the developing world actually going to develop?) Anyway, I needed a headline to justify the story of how this company mended its way (sorry for the pun) and made its sweatshops a lot nicer.

So I came up with the headline “As Ye Sew...” – an obvious spin on the expression “As ye sow, so shall ye reap.” Now I thought that was nice, but D was totally confused and sent me an irritated e-mail asking what “As Ye Sew...” meant. I e-mailed her back that it was a pun on “As ye sow, so shall ye reap” and it was meant to show that the apparel company is reaping the PR points of its new nice-guy image.

Well, D asked me to change the headline by claiming people would not recognize it. I responded: “As ye sow, so shall ye reap” is a famous expression and our smart readers will recognize the reference immediately.” This may have been tactless, since D pointed out she did not recognize it and she considered herself to be intelligent.

I then explained (again) that this was one of the most famous expressions in Western civilization and there should not be any problem with reader awareness of it. D then e-mailed back: “I don’t want this publication to be full of expressions that are obscure, elitist or out-of-the-mainstream.”

To which I e-mailed back: “The quote ‘As ye sow, so shall ye reap’ comes from the Bible.”

D said nothing more and the quote went into print.

To paraphrase Gene Rayburn, my boss is so dumb...