"A Talking Horse" joke

Hot 1 year ago

A jogger running down a country road is startled as a horse yells at him, "Hey - come over here, buddy." The jogger is stunned but runs over to the fence where the horse is standing and asks, "Were you talking to me?"
The horse replies, "Sure was, man. I've got a problem. I won the Kentucky Derby a few years ago and this farmer bought me and now all I do is pull a plow and I'm sick of it. Why don't you run up to the house and offer him $5,000 to buy me. I'll make you some money cause I can still run."
The jogger thought to himself, "Boy, a talking horse."
Dollar signs started appearing in his head. So he runs to the house and the old farmer is sitting on the porch. The jogger tells the farmer, "Hey, man, I'll give you $5,000 for that old broken down nag you've got in the field."
The farmer replies, "Son, you can't believe anything that horse says - he's never even been to Kentucky."

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Grumpy

Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.

A guy calls a company and orders their 5-day, 5kg weight loss program.

The next day, there's a knock on the door and there stands before him a voluptuous, athletic, 19 year old babe dressed in nothing but a pair of Nike running shoes and a sign around her more...

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?
Run. She still has the grenade in her mouth.

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

My wife says I never listen... or something like that...

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