Tomatoes Jokes / Recent Jokes

Bina-Thats A Terrible Bump On Your Head Vivek. How Did You Get It? Vivek-Somebody Threw Tomatoes At Me Bina-But Tomatoes Are
Not So Hard How Could They Give A Bump Like That. Vivek-They Were Inside A Tin

Once there was a beautiful woman who loved to work in her vegetable garden, but no matter what she did, she couldn't get her tomatoes to ripen.Admiring her neighbor's garden, which had beautiful bright red tomatoes, she went one day and inquired of him his secret."It's really quite simple," the old man explained. "Twice each day, once in the morning and once in the evening, I expose myself in front of the tomatoes and they turn red with embarrassment."Desperate for the perfect garden, she tried his advice and proceeded to expose herself to her plants twice daily.Two weeks passed and her neighbor stopped by to check her progress."So," he asked, "any luck with your tomatoes?""No," she replied excitedly, "but you should see the size of my cucumbers!"

A woman's garden is growing beautifully but the darn tomatoes won't ripen. There's a limit to the number of uses for green tomatoes and she's getting tired of it.So she goes to her neighbor and says,"Your tomatoes are ripe, mine are green. What can I do about it?"
Her neighbor replies,"Well, it may sound absurd but here's what to do. Tonight there's no moon. After dark go out into your garden and take all your clothes off. Tomatoes can see in the dark and they'll be embarrassed and blush. In the morning they'll all be red, you'll see."
She says Well, what the heck it can't hurt to try it.
Next day her neighbor asks how it worked.
"So-so," she answers. "The tomatoes are still green but the cucumbers are all four inches longer."

Once there was a beautiful woman who loved to work in her vegetable garden, but no matter what she did, she couldn't get her tomatoes to ripen.

Admiring her neighbour's garden, which had beautiful bright red tomatoes, she went one day and enquired of him his secret.

"It's really quite simple," the old man explained. "Twice each day, in the morning and in the evening, I expose myself in front of the tomatoes and they turn red with embarrassment."

Desperate for the perfect garden, she tried his advice and proceeded to expose herself to her plants twice daily.

Two weeks passed and her neighbour stopped by to check her progress. "So", he asked, "Any luck with your tomatoes?"

"No", she replied excitedly, "But you should see the size of my cucumbers!"

A small boy was looking at the red ripe tomatoes growing in the farmer's garden. "I'll give you my two pennies for that tomato," said the boy pointing to a beautiful, large, ripe fruit hanging on the vine."No," said the farmer, "I get a dime for a tomato like that one."The small boy pointed to a smaller green one, "Will you take two pennies for that one?""Yes," replied the farmer, "I'll give you that one for two cents.""OK," said the lad, sealing the deal by putting the coins in the farmer's hand, "I'll pick it up in about a week."

A guy in his final year at the secondary school, one day decided to bring his girlfriend home. But the unfortunate thing is that he shares a room with his younger brother who is just 9 yrs old. This guy brought the girl home one night, and luckly for him his brother as sleeping on the down bed, so they had to climb up to the top bed. And guess what? Things started to heat up, then the boy remembered that his brother is sleeping down, so he told the girl to say 'tomatoes when its to hard for her and lettuce when she wants to change position, and this is hat happened. 'tomatoes' 'lettuce' 'tomatoes' 'lettuce' This went on for sometime, then all of a sudden the boy's brother who was sleeping down there shoutered ''will you guys stop making sandwitches up there, you are getting mayonaise all over my face.

An Army recruiter delivered a windy pep talk to encourage a group of college students to join the VOLAR. But the culminating point of his oration was greeted with cat calls, whistles and projection of rotten eggs and an assortment of no less rotten vegetables and fruits. A visitor asked a student: "Why you throw tomatoes at the man and now you are applauding him?""We want an encore. I still have some tomatoes left!" explained the student.