Newton Jokes / Recent Jokes

One day all the scientists in heaven decided to play hide-n-seek. Einstein was "it" and had to count up to 100 and then start searching.

Einstein starts counting... "1,2,3..."

Everyone starts hiding except Newton who just draws a square of 1 meter and stands in it right in front of Einstein.

"97,98,99... 100!" He opens his eyes and finds Newton standing in front.

Einstein immediately sees him and starts yelling, "Newton's out! Newton's out!"

Newton denies and says, "I am not out. I am not Newton."

All the scientists come out to see how he proves that he is not Newton.

Newton says "I am standing in a square of area 1m squared. That makes me Newton per meter squared since one Newton per meter squared is one Pascal, I'm Pascal. Therefore, Pascal is OUT!"

If Kitty Carlisle married Conway Twitty, she'd be Kitty Twitty.
If Yoko Ono married Sonny Bono, she'd be Yoko Ono Bono.
If Dolly Parton married Salvador Dali, she'd be Dolly Dali.
If Bo Derek married Don Ho, she'd be Bo Ho.
If Oprah Winfrey married Depak Chopra, she'd be Oprah Chopra.
If Cat Stevens married Snoop Doggy Dogg (hey! it's the '90's!), he'd be Cat Doggy Dogg.
If Olivia Newton-John married Wayne Newton, then divorced him to marry Elton John, she'd be Olivia Newton-John Newton John.
If Sondra Locke married Elliott Ness, then divorced him to marry Herman Munster, she'd become Sondra Locke Ness Munster.
If Bea Arthur married Sting, she'd be Bea Sting.
If Liv Ullman married Judge Lance Ito, then divorced him and married Jerry Mathers, she'd be Liv Ito Beaver.
If Snoop Doggy Dogg married Winnie the Pooh, he'd be Snoop Doggy Dogg Pooh.
How about a baseball marriage? If Boog Powell married Felipe Alou, he'd be Boog Alou.
If G. Gordon more...

NO OFFENCE MEAN.........
Here is the reason. Why Newton Commited Suicide.....
Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his
head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in
physics
were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had
done.
In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent
that
he went paranoid. Here are a few scenes
1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't
be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great
Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet
passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is
cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!
2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters.
Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife.
Guess, what he does?
He throws the knife at the middle more...

Here is the reason. Why Newton Committed Suicide.....


Once, Newton came to India and watched a few Tamil movies that had his head spinning. He was convinced that all his logic and laws in physics were just a huge pile of junk and apologized for everything he had done.

In the movie of Rajanikanth, Newton was confused to such an extent that he went paranoid.

Here are a few scenes


1) Rajanikanth has a Brain Tumor which, according to the doctors can't be cured and his death is imminent. In one of the fights, our great Rajanikanth is shot in the head. To everybody's surprise, the bullet passes through his ears taking away the tumor along with it and he is cured! Long Live Rajanikanth!


2) In another movie, Rajanikanth is confronted with 3 gangsters. Rajanikanth has a gun but unfortunately only one bullet and a knife. Guess, what he does? He throws the knife at the middle gangster? & shoots the bullet towards the knife. more...