Interpret Jokes

Q: How does a blonde interpret 6. 9? A: A 69 interrupted by a period.

*** How to interpret employment ads
"Competitive Salary" - We remain competitive by paying less
than our competitors.

"Join Our Fast Paced Company" - We have no time to train
you.

"Casual Work Atmosphere" - We don't pay enough to expect
that you will dress up.

"Must be Deadline Oriented" - You will be six months behind
schedule on your first day.

"Some Overtime Required" - Some time each night, some time
each weekend.

"Duties will Vary" - Anyone in the office can boss you
around.

"Must have an Eye for Detail" - We have no quality control.

"Seeking Candidates with a Wide Variety of Experience" - You
will need to replace three people who just left.

"Problem Solving Skills a Must" - You are walking into a
company in perpetual chaos. Haven't heard a word from more...

Q: How does a blonde interpret 6.9? A: A 69 interrupted by a period.

1) Light a candle on your roomie's, friend's, or relative's forehead while they are sleeping. See how long it takes for them to wake up. This will tell you how long you will live. 2) Tell your future by interpreting the patterns in popcorn, beer cans and cigarette butts left on the floor after your last party. It's a lot like reading tea leaves. 3) Choose an outfit for the day using a divining rod. 4) Determine what your friends have done during the day by smelling their odor eaters. 5) Go outside skyclad (naked), come in and interpret the patterns in your goose bumps. It's a lot like reading tea leaves. 6) Tape music videos, play them backwards on your VCR and try to find subliminal images and rock stars that take on Satanic appearances. 7) Interpret forms in your sculptured carpet. It's a lot like reading tea leaves. 8) At breakfast, eat all but a few bits of cereal, then stir it vigorously and interpret the resulting designs. It's a lot like reading tea leaves. 9) Develop a 'tarot' more...

Computer scientist Arthur Boran was ecstatic. A few minutes earlier, he had programmed a basic
mathematical problem into his prototypical Akron I computer. His request was simply, "Give me the sum
of every odd number between zero and ten." The computer's quick answer, 157, was unexpected, to say
the least. With growing excitement, Boran requested an explanation of the computer's reasoning. The
printout read as follows: THE TERM "ODD NUMBER" IS AMBIGUOUS. I THEREFORE CHOOSE TO INTERPRET IT AS
MEANING "A NUMBER THAT IS FUNNY LOOKING." USING MY AESTHETIC JUDGEMENT, I PICKED THE NUMBERS 3, 8,
AND 147, ADDED THEM UP, AND GOT 157.
A few moments later there was an addendum: I GUESS I MEANT 158.
Followed shortly thereafter by: 147 IS MORE THAN 10, ISN'T IT? SORRY.
Anyone doing conventional research would have undoubtedly consigned the hapless computer to the scrap
heap. But for Boran, the Akron I's response more...