"Hairline" joke
All you want for Christmas is a hairline!
A young couple on the brink of divorce visit a marriage counsellor. The counsellor asks the wife what is the problem.
She responds, "My husband suffers from premature ejaculation."
The counsellor turns to her husband and inquires, "Is that more...
Dirty Words
One day, little Timmy was at school and heard the word "shit". He went home and asked his dad for the definition and he promptly told him "coats and jackets".
Timmy went to school the next day and heard the word "fucking", and for a second time, more...
Grumpy
Sometimes I wake up grumpy, other times I let her sleep.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
My wife says I never listen... or something like that...