"What does ADIDAS stand for?" joke

A guy says to his friend, "I can't remember if the doctor told me my wife has AIDS or Alzheimer's."
His friend says, "It's simple. Drive her to the other side of town. If she finds her way home, don't fuck her."

What do you call Napoleon after a bomb has hit him?
Napoleon Blown Apart

Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.

Confucius Says: It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it.

Q: What's the worst trick you can do to your blind brother?
A: Leave the plunger in the toilet