"The Top 15 Complaints of Modern Day Werewolves" joke

16> In a steamy shower, bottle of Nair looks just like bottle of shampoo.

15> Obnoxious frat boys who attempt to ruffle you with a different type of' full moon.'

14> Jason Bateman's portrayal not quite as sympathetic as Michael J. Fox's.

13> Constant wet-dog smell on your car's upholstery.

12> Most people get all freaked out by a friendly get-acquainted crotch-sniff.

11> Confused PETA zealots and their red spray paint attacks.

10> Constant marking of territory required to keep Ed Asner and Robin Williams at bay.

9> Is that Martha Stewart anal or what?!

8> Latest Cosmo poll says back hair STILL a big turnoff.

7> Routine ass kickings from neighborhood pit bull.

6> Having to bail Warren Zevon out of the drunk tank twice a week.

5> Can't stop for a leisurely tongue bath without drawing an envious crowd.

4> Chicks don't dig human-carnage breath.

3> The grating way Barbara Walters pronounces your name.

2> Between gangs, British nannies, and O.J., nobody gives a rat's ass about a hair-covered snarling killer anymore.

and the Number 1 Complaint of Modern Day Werewolves...

1> Just can't get the goatee to look right.