"The Senility Prayer" joke

Grant me the Senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones that I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.

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Now that I'm older, here's what I've discovered:

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.

My wild oats have turned into prunes and All Bran.

I finally got my head together; now my body is falling apart.

Funny, I don't remember being absent minded...

It is easier to get older than it is to get wiser.

If God wanted me to touch my toes, he would have put them on my knees.

These days, I spend a lot of time thinking about the hereafter...I go somewhere to get something, and then wonder what I'm here after.