"The Pickup" joke
A gal was sitting at the bar when a man came in and offered her a drink. They had several before the lights went on to signal' Last Call'.
She looked at him and said: "You're so pale... so pale... have you been sick?"
He said: "No, I'm pale because I spent the last six months in solitary confinement. I escaped today by killing two guards with their own weapons, dragging an old man from his car, and running over him as I sped off."
She asked: "My goodness, what did you do to get into solitary confinement?"
He answered: "I started a prison riot, set a cell block on fire, and caused 23 men to die while trapped helplessly in their cells!"
"Oh good Lord!" she said, "What did you do to get in prison in the first place?"
"I brutally murdered my wife, cut her body up in little pieces, and stuffed them down the garbage disposal.", was the reply.
"OH!", she exclaimed, "So you're SINGLE!!!"