"The Blonde at a Bar" joke
A Blonde, a Brunette, and a Redhead walk into a bar. The bartender tells them that in the restroom, there is a magic mirror. If you tell the truth in front of it, you get the one thing you desire the most. But if you lie in front of it, you disappear and you can never come back. So, the redhead goes into the restroom and stands in front of the mirror. "I think that I am the most beautiful person in this bar." And the Redhead walks out with a brand new red car. Then the Brunette goes into the restroom and says to the mirror," I think Im the smartest person in this bar." And she gets a million dollars. Then the Blonde goes into the restroom and says to the mirror," I think..." POOF! She disappears.
Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
A Russian is strolling down the street in Moscow and kicks a
bottle laying in the street. Suddenly out of the bottle comes
The Russian is stunned and the Genie says, "Hello Master, I
will grant you one wish, anything that you want."
Q:What is the difference between beer nuts and deer nuts?
A: Beer nuts cost a buck twenty-five. Deer nuts are under a buck!
A man's wife is his better half, but his mistress is his better hole.
Two blondes walk into a bar. You'd think at least one of them would've seen it.