"Sarcastic Remarks for Work" joke
1. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...? 2. Do I look like a people person? 3. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting. 4. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left. 5. I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me. 6. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer. 7. If I throw a stick, will you leave? 8. You!... Off my planet! 9. If I want to hear the pitter patter of little feet, I'll put shoes on my cats. 10. Does your train of thought have a caboose? 11. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed. 12. A PBS mind in an MTV world. 13. Allow me to introduce my selves. 14. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed. 15. Suburbia: where they tear out the trees and then name streets after them. 16. Well, this day was a total waste of makeup. 17. See no evil, hear no evil, date no evil. 18. I have a computer, a remote control, and pizza delivery. Why should I leave the house? 19. Not all men [women] are annoying. Some are dead. 20. Did I mention the kick in the groin you'll be receiving if you touch me? 21. A woman's favorite position is CEO. 22. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality. 23. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door. 24. Stress is when you wake up screaming and you realize you haven't fallen asleep yet. 25. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1? 26. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted paychecks. 27. Too many freaks, not enough circuses. 28. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it? 29. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done. 30. I plead contemporary insanity. 31. And which dwarf are you? 32. How do I set a laser printer to stun? 33. Meandering to a different drummer. 34. I majored in liberal arts. Will that be for here or to go?
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