"People for the Ethical Treatment of Software" joke

People for Ethical Treatment of Software (PETS) announced today
that more software companies have been added to the group's "watch list"
of companies that regularly practice software testing. "There is no
need for software to be mistreated in this way so that companies like
these can market new products," said Ken Grandola, spokesperson for
PETS. "Alternative methods of testing these products are available."
According to PETS, these companies force software to undergo
lenghty and arduous tests, often without rest, for hours or days at a
time. Employees are assigned to "break" the software by any means
necessary, and inside sources report that they often joke about
"torturing" the software.
"It's no joke," said Grandola. "Innocent programs, from the day
they are compiled, are cooped up in tiny rooms and "crashed" for hours
on end. They spend their whole lives on dirty, ill-maintained
computers, and are unceremoniously deleted when they're not needed any
more." Grandola said the software is kept in unsanitary conditions and
is infested with bugs. "We know that alternatives to this horror
exist," he said, citing industry giant Microsoft Corporation as a
company that has become successful without resorting to software testing.

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