"Drunk At The Piano Bar" joke
A classy piano bar was holding tryouts for a new piano player. The only applicant turned out to be a skid row wino who looked and smelled the part. The piano bar owner basically told him to "take a hike", but the bum insisted that he be given the chance to show the owner that he could play the piano with the best of them. The owner relented and showed the guy to the piano.
The bum commenced to play a song he had written himself. The owner was amazed as the skid row denizen's fingers gently caressed the ivory keys with a song so beautiful and well-played it brought him to tears.
When the bum was finished playing the song, the owner said in amazement, "That was the most beautiful piece I've heard in my life. You're great! What is the name of that song?"
The bum replied, "I named that song 'I Love You So Fuckin' Much I Could Almost Shit'!"
The owner fumed, "You're outta here! This is a class establishment and I will not allow such a song to be played for my guests!"
The bum said, "I expected as much, but before I leave could I use your men's room?"
The owner said OK, but when the bum left the men's room and was walking toward the door the owner said, "Hey buddy, do you know your zipper's down and your peter is hanging out?"
The bum replied, "Hell yes I know it - I wrote it!"
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