"Dr,, I think my dog is dead" joke
A man took his dog to the Vet. He said, "Dr,, I think my dog is dead."
The Vet told him to put the dog on the table and then left the room. Soon he came back with a cat. The cat sniffed the dogs ears, his nose and then walked all over him.
The Vet said "Yep, your dog is dead. That will be $500 and 35 dollars."
The man said, "$500 and 35 dollars! What for?"
The Vet said, "$35 for the office visit and $500 for the cat scan."
A blonde decided to commit suicide by hanging herself from a tree in the park.
A few days later, a man was walking his dog and spotted her hanging from the tree. He asks the blonde what she is doing and she replies, "I'm hanging myself."
"You're supposed more...
Your mama is so fat when she fell over she rocked herself to sleep trying to get up again.
A man was on a game show. He was on his final question; all he had to do was answer that question right, and he would win 1 million dollars!
The game show host said, "All right, for your final question: 'What are the names of three of Santa's reindeer?'"
A young girl is walking up the stairs in a church just as the priest is walking by. He looks up and is shocked to see the girl isn't wearing any panties.
He calls to the girl, gives her $25 and says, "Young lady, it's not proper to walk around without any panties on. more...