"Dilapitated Boat" joke
Jim and Jack were identical twins. Jim owned an old, dilapitated boat and tended to keep pretty much to himself. One day he rented his boat to a group of out-of-towners who ended up sinking it. All day, and throughout most of the evening, Jim attempted to salvage as much as possible from the sunken vessel. Unbeknownest to him, during his absence, his brother Jack's wife had died suddenly.
When he finally arrived back on shore, he went into town to pick up a few things from the local grocery store. The kind, old woman who ran the store mistook him for Jack and said, "I'm terribly sorry for your loss. You must feel awful."
Thinking she was referring to his boat, Jim replied, "Hell no! Actually, I'm sort of glad to be rid of her. She always was a rotten old thing, right from the beginning. Her bottom was all shriveled up and she smelled like old, dead fish. She was always holding water. She had a serious crack in the back and a pretty big hole in the front too. Every time I used her, her hole got bigger and she leaked like crazy."
"I guess renting her to those four guys looking for a good time is what finally finished her off," Jim continued. "I warned them that she wasn't very good and she smelled bad, but they insisted they wanted her anyway. Those damn fools tried to get in her all at one time and she split right up the middle."
The kind, old woman fainted.
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