"Dietitian's Lecture" joke
A dietitian was giving a lecture to a large audience.
"The materials we put into our stomachs is enough to have killed most of us in this room, years ago. Red meat is very bad. Vegetables can be disastrous and none of us even realize the germs that are in our drinking water. Given all that, there is one thing that is the most dangerous of all and all of us have, or will, eat it. Can anyone here tell me what lethal product I'm referring to? What one food causes the most grief and suffering for years after eating it?"
A seventy year old man sitting in the front row jumped up and said, "Wedding cake!"
A very attractive lady goes up to a bar in a quiet rural pub. She gestures alluringly to the bartender who comes over immediately. When he arrives, she seductively signals that he should bring his face closer to hers. When he does, she begins to gently caress his full more...