"Christmas Downsizing" joke
IMMEDIATE DOWNSIZING MEASURES EMPLOYED The recent announcement that Donner and Blitzen have elected to take the early reindeer retirement package has triggered a good deal of concern about whether they will be replaced, and about other restructuring
decisions at the North Pole. Streamlining is due to the North Pole`s loss of dominance of this season`s gift distribution business. Home shopping channels, the Internet, and mail order catalogs have diminished Santa`s market share. He could not sit idly by and permit further erosion of the profit picture. The reindeer downsizing was made possible through the purchase of a late model Japanese sled for the CEO`s annual trip. Improved productivity from Dasher and Dancer--who will retrain at the Harvard Business
School--is anticipated. Reduction in reindeer will also lessen airborne environmental emissions for which the North Pole has received unfavorable press. I am pleased to inform you that Rudolph`s role will not be disturbed. Tradition still counts for something at the North Pole.
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