"Alter Your Course!" joke

Hot 3 years ago

This is an actual radio conversation released by the Chief of NavalOperations, 10-10-95, MSG#H0000115020ecb52EMHS #1: "Please divert your course 15 degrees to the north to avoid a collision."#2: "Recommend that you change YOUR course 15 degrees to the south to avoid a collision."#1: "This is the captain of a U.S. navy ship. I say again, divert YOUR course."#2: "No, I say again divert YOUR course."#1: "This is the aircraft carrier Enterprise, we are a large warship of the U.S. navy. Divert your course NOW!"#2: "This is a lighthouse. Your call?"

Our secretary heard this during a talent show at a retirement village.
A retirement village decided to hold a Singles Dance, at which this
very sweet 90-year-old gentleman met a very sweet 90-year-old lady,
and they danced and talked and laughed, and just hit it off more...

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One day a lawyer was riding in his limousine when he saw a guy eating grass He told the driver to stop. He got out and asked him, "Why are you eating grass".
The man replied, "I'm so poor, I can't afford a thing to eat."
So the laywer said, "Poor more...

A keen country lad applied for a salesman's job at a city department store. In fact it was the biggest store in Canada - you could get anything there.
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There was this Christian lady who had to do a lot of traveling for her business so she did a lot of flying. But flying made her nervous so she always took her Bible along with her to read and it helped relax her. One time she was sitting next to a man. When he saw her pull out more...

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