Stem Jokes / Recent Jokes

President Bush again vetoed stem cell research, citing his fear that one of the stem cells could beat him at checkers.

By Tony Kornheiser, The Washington Post
Sunday, July 22, 2001
Just the other morning I was watching "The Today Show" when that hot tomato Katie Couric said something like, "Coming up: We're going to focus on the ongoing stem cell debate."
The ongoing stem cell debate?
Omigod, which side was I on, stems or cells?
Tragically, I not only didn't know a stem cell debate was raging all over America - I didn't even know what a "stem cell" was. Stems and seeds, yes. That rang a bell. ("Oh, we're down to stems and seeds again. Bummer.") But for stem cell, I was drawing a blank (see above).
So I opened the newspaper and began reading about stem cells. And there was all this stuff about "surplus embryos" and "frozen embryos."
And I said: Yikes! Check, please.
That's what Americans are talking about this summer, frozen embryos? Excuse me, what happened to frozen margaritas?
It's not like I don't think more...

Starbucks has donated 500 million dollars to Stem Cell Research, in hopes of finding a way to install a Starbucks in everyones head. Until that time they will just continue putting one on every block around the world.

A U.S. biotech company has announced it can create stem cells without harming embryos.
Unfortunately, the method involves sweat shops.
Sweat shops full of babies.
Tiny babies.
(They're the only ones with fingers small enough to manipulate the cells as necessary.)


PS Science!