European airline Ryanair announced that it will start charging passengers to use the restroom. The airline is hoping that installing pay toilets will allow them to remove 2 of the lavatories, in order to make room for more seats.
Not to be outdone, the king of no-frills air travel, Southwest Airlines, is expected to announce their new "no toilet" flights.
According to anonymous sources, the storage pocket of each seat will contain a safety card, an airsickness bag, and a pair of Depends.

In an effort to make up with fat people, Southwest Airlines will begin direct flights to Hershey, Pa. from New York's LaGuardia and Houston's Hobby.

Southwest Airlines has announced a new "Fly Weight" class of seating targeting passengers who weigh 450 pounds or more. Qualifying passengers will still be required to purchase two regular size tickets; however, they will be seated in a special section of the cabin that the airline guarantees will be no more than 3/4 to 7/8 full.