Lent Jokes

  • Funny Jokes

    Lenten Protestant

    Hot 2 years ago

    John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic neighborhood. On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill. Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each Friday of Lent.

    On the last Friday of Lent, the neighborhood men got together and decided that something had to be done about John. He was tempting them to eat meat each Friday of Lent, and they couldn't take it anymore. They decided to try and convert John to be a Catholic. They went over and talked to him and were so happy that he decided to join all of his neighbors and become a Catholic. They took him to Church, and the Priest sprinkled some water over him, and said, "You were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, and now you are Catholic." The men were so relieved, now their biggest Lenten temptation was resolved.

    The next year's Lenten season rolled around. The first Friday of Lent came, and more...

    Because It's Lent

    Hot 2 years ago

    On the first day of their Honeymoon, the very naive blond virgin bride slipped into a sexy but sweet nightie and, with great anticipation, crawled into bed, only to find that her new Christian husband had settled down on the couch.
    When she asked him why he was apparently not going to make love to her, he replied, "Because it's Lent."
    Almost in tears, she remarked, "Well, that is the most ridiculous thing I have ever heard! To whom did you lend it, and for how long?"

    Chinese Heaven

    Hot 2 years ago

    Three Chinese gentlemen approach the St. Peter's gates requesting entrance to heaven. St. Peter informs the three that as they are not Christian, they can not come in. But after much pleading by the three Chinese men St. Peter agrees to let them in on one condition: each one must explain a Christian holiday. The first man says' Christmas. Christmas is when young children dress up in scary costumes, say trick or treat, eat candy. Christmas.' St. Peter says no. The second man says' Lent. Lent is when everyone gather' round big fire, cook hot dog, make e fireworks. Lent.' St. Peter says no. The third man says' Easter. Put man on cross. Man dies on cross. Put man in tomb. Wait three days. After three days, roll the rock from tomb. Man come out of tomb. If man see shadow...'

    John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic neighborhood. On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill. Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper.This went on each Friday of Lent. On the last Friday of Lent, the neighborhood men got together and decided that something had to be done about John, he was tempting them to eat meat each Friday of Lent, and they couldn't take it
    anymore. They decided to try and convert John to Catholicism.They went over and talked to him and were so happy that he decided to join all of his neighbors and become a Catholic. They took him to Church, and the
    Priest sprinkled some water over him, and said, "You were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, and now you are a Catholic." The men were so relieved-now their biggest Lenten temptation was resolved.The next year's Lenten season rolled around. The first Friday of Lent came, and just at supper more...

    John Smith was the only Protestant to move into a large Catholic neighborhood. On the first Friday of Lent, John was outside grilling a big juicy steak on his grill.
    Meanwhile, all of his neighbors were eating cold tuna fish for supper. This went on each Friday of Lent. On the last Friday of Lent, the neighborhood men got together and decided that something had to be done about John. He was tempting them to eat meat each Friday of Lent, and they couldn't take it anymore.
    They decided to try and convert John to Catholicism.
    They went over and talked to him. John decided to join all of his neighbors and become a Catholic, which made them all very happy.
    They took him to church, and the priest sprinkled some water over him, and said, "You were born a Baptist, you were raised a Baptist, and now you are a Catholic."
    The men were so relieved, now their biggest Lenten temptation was resolved.
    The next year's Lenten season rolled around. The first Friday of more...

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