A man hears a knock at the door and all that's there is a snail, he picks it up and throws it. 3 years later its another knock at the door, the man answers and the snail says 'what the hell was that for?'
Three guys, stranded on a desert island, find a magic lantern containing a genie, who grants them each one wish. The first guy wishes he was off the island and back home. The second guy wishes the same. The third guy says "I’m lonely. I wish my friends were back here."
what do you say to a girl with 2 black eyes? nothing shes already been told twice
Boy: *calls 911* Hello? I need your help!
911: Alright, What is it?
Boy: Two girls are fighting over me!
911: So what's your emergency?
Boy: The ugly one is